


Open Space Dating

by DianaSolaris



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Male Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Multi, Not Quite A Smut Scene, Polyamory, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Pidge | Katie Holt, Trans Shiro (Voltron), almost canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 05:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13540452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaSolaris/pseuds/DianaSolaris
Summary: Shiro and Pidge have been navigating their relationship and being trans together, with a few bumps in the road (if one can call being kidnapped and enslaved as a gladiator for a year a bump in the road). But when they both meet Allura, it’s time to negotiate a different, scary word: Polyamory. Or, in Pidge’s case, actually asking somebody out.Some sexiness at the end but not much/not quite worth a rating up!Written for Challahchic for the Shidge Valentines Exchange owo





	Open Space Dating

            Shiro hadn’t thought he could fall more in love with Pidge Gunderson, but to be fair, every other time he’d thought that, he hadn’t yet been exposed to nerve-wracked, nail-biting, blushing,  _fiendishly_ adorable Pidge, walking in circles in his room and practicing how to ask out a cute girl.

               “Pidge, it’s going to be  _fine._ We got together, didn’t we?”

               “ _Yes,_ but you’re  _you._ ”

               “What’s that supposed to mean?” Shiro laughed. He knew better than to be offended.

               Pidge threw his hands into the air. “I don’t know! I could probably have asked you out with a bucket on my head after eating gefilte fish and you still would have said yes out of curiosity! You don’t – you’re  _you._ And Allura’s –“

               “Allura’s endlessly curious and loves flattery. I can’t see it going that badly. Absolute  _worst_ case scenario, she’ll let you down really sweetly.”

               Pidge buried his hands in his hair. “That’ll be  _worse!_ I’d rather she threw something at me!”

               Shiro tried to stifle his snickering. It was kind of mean, really, to be laughing at Pidge right now. It had started when Shiro and Allura had started seeing each other – not as a serious thing, just as a curious holding-of-hands, a dalliance with Pidge’s consent that had become something more, and Shiro had caught Pidge staring. Shiro’d sat down with his tiny firecracker boyfriend, worried that jealousy was intervening, that something was wrong –

               -and instead had been on the receiving end of a  _barrage_ of questions about if Allura liked short guys, if Allura was open to maybe dating more people, if Allura thought Pidge was annoying, if if if.

               And now they were here.

               “Just ask her out, Pidge,” Shiro said with a sigh. He stood up and took Pidge’s hands in his own. “She knows we’re both trans and she’s perfectly accepting of it – I think it’s a bit alien to her but, well, we  _are_ aliens.”

Pidge sniffed. “That’s a pretty valid reason.”

“Don’t worry. She’s more confused about the nipples than the boobs.”

He blinked, then glared up at Shiro. “The  _nipples?_  Does – do –“

“Not the point. She likes short guys. She thinks you’re cute when you babble about electronics.  _And_ she’s the one who brought up you two having lots in common, remember?”

Pidge hung his head, looking thoroughly defeated. “That…was not my best moment.”

“ _Nevertheless._ ” Shiro leant down and pressed a kiss to Pidge’s lips, savouring his taste for a moment before pulling away and enjoying instead the way Pidge’s blush went  _straight_ to his ears. “Go. Godspeed.”

“Aye, aye, sir!” He saluted Shiro cheekily and marched out the door – then turned on his heel to poke his head back in. “Uh, are you  _sure_ I can’t just get you to ask her out for m-“

“ _Go._ ”

“Yes, sorry, going!”

\----

               Shiro had dealt with the myths around being trans one by one as he’d come out – first with Matt, his boyfriend at the time, trying to figure out whether he was gay or not (“yes, Matt,” Shiro’d said in amused irritation, “I can want to be a guy and  _also_ like guys” until he’d stopped freaking out), second with Keith, who had asked with the embarrassed mystification of somebody who  _knows_ he’s out of his depth if he was going to get his penis before or after the Kerberos launch.

               He didn’t hold it against any of them, really. It was probably almost as weird and confusing watching him trying to figure How To Be A Guy as it was to – well, figure it out. But nothing quite beat Pidge’s quiet question at the dinner table, after all the fuss and excitement of the Kerberos launch was over, of “How’d you know?”

               Shiro blinked, and Mrs. Holt put a hand on Pidge’s shoulder. “I’m not sure if that’s appropriate, dear-“

               “It’s fine,” said Shiro distractedly. Was he the only one noticing the awkward way Pidge kept chasing her peas around her plate, fork tines scratching her plate? “Um, I guess I just –“ This was such a strange thing to be talking about in front of his amiably-ex-boyfriend’s family. But they’d pretty much adopted him, and he knew Pidge well enough to know what was going on. “It’s different for everybody, I think. But I just didn’t feel  _comfortable_ in girl’s clothes, or being called a girl. It was kind of like if – if I had red hair and everybody else was insisting it was black.” He shrugged with an awkward laugh. “I guess part of it is just  _feeling_ the difference between people treating me as a girl and people treating me as a guy.”

               Pidge glanced up at him from under her bangs, and Shiro knew what that look was. “…That sounds cool. I’m glad.”

               “I must say, you look very handsome with the new haircut,” added Mrs. Holt with a flicker of her eyelashes. “And Pidge  _still_ doesn’t have a boyfriend-“

               Shiro had apparently chosen the wrong time to take a drink. He coughed and tried not to drown himself on tap water at the dinner table, then turned to the side to elegantly wipe off his face with a napkin. There was something to be said for uncomplicated acceptance, he supposed.

               “Mother,” Matt whined. “You can’t hook up  _Pidge_ with my  _ex._ ”

               “Why not?”

               “Well – I – hm.” Matt turned to Shiro. “…I mean, he  _is_ pretty cute.”

                _“Mother!_ ” Now it was Pidge exclaiming in horror.

               Shiro tried to stop blushing. “I – uh – have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.”

               He really  _did_ have to pee. It wasn’t just an excuse. But he couldn’t help glancing in the mirror, wondering if Mrs. Holt was just being nice. Pidge  _was_ pretty cute. And-

               - _Nope._

He was going into space in  _three days._ Three days. He didn’t have time for massive paradigm shifts concerning Matt’s younger sis- sibling.

               He opened the door and turned the corner to the stairs-

               -only to run into Pidge, staring owlishly up at him. “…Oh. Hey.”

               “Hey,” they murmured. “Um- I wanted to- to talk to you.”

               Shiro tucked his hands into his pocket with a wry smile. “Long, short, or medium?”

               “I can make it medium-rare.”

               He laughed and sat down at the top of the stairs. Pidge found a spot by his knees, a couple steps down, but didn’t speak right away, instead taking deep breaths while steeling themselves.

               “You too, huh?” he said finally.

               They jolted, looking up at him from under their long bangs. Then Pidge nodded, face crumpling. “I was so  _confused._ And – and there can’t – there can’t be  _two_ of us, can there? I mean, what kind of probability-“

               And that, Shiro thought, was his least favourite myth. That being trans was a rare commodity, some one-in-a-million mutation that was spaced out evenly in order to keep its sufferers alone. Whoever had started it must not have met the cheerful Cuban cadet who wore high heels as often as they wore ties (when they weren’t wearing them together), or asked Keith his opinions on gender (after having thought about it, he’d answered with a confused shrug).

Whoever had started the myth must not have seen the relieved tears running down Pidge’s face when Shiro buried his fingers in their hair. “You do what feels right. Probability is scientific guesswork when it comes to people, didn’t  _you_ say that?”

Pidge blinked, then rested their head on Shiro’s leg. “Y-yeah.”

“What pronouns do you want to use?”

“He and him. I think. But not – not everywhere. Just. Just sometimes. Maybe on phone calls.”

“You’re not going to tell anybody else?”

Pidge shook his head. “Not yet. I’ll wait until you and Matt are back from the mission. It’ll be easier then.”

Shiro rumpled his hair with a grin. “Sounds like a deal.”

_Tha-thump._

_You stop that,_ he told his heart with stubborn determination. Mrs. Holt could matchmake all she wanted. Shiro was taking his time. He had his own business to figure out.

\----

And then Pidge had shown up to save him. It had taken him a bit between the memory loss and the drugs that the Garrison had injected him with, but the moment he’d opened his mouth –

“Shiro?” the boy in front of him said with a faint hope that was  _so familiar._

“P-Pidge,” he replied, sitting up a little too quickly and letting his vision spin and settle before trying to do anything else. “Pidge, you – you cut your hair,” he said lamely.

Pidge just laughed, standing up and over Shiro for a moment. “Pidge Gunderson at your service.”

“You – transitioned?”

-And at that Pidge deflated a little, scratching the back of his neck with an awkward half-chuckle. “Uh, sorta? I mean, don’t  _most_ transitions include sneaking back into a place that kicked you out and hacking into their systems while trying to figure out what happened to a downed mission that robbed you of your loved ones – I mean, yes?”

Shiro blinked. That was a lot to digest. “…I’m sorry, you  _what?_ ”

“Person who isn’t going to question my methods says what.”

               “Wha-  _Pidge!_ ”

               He cackled, and then with a deep sigh, collapsed forward into Shiro’s arms, sending both of them toppling back into the bed. “You’re alive,” he whispered with a soft hitch in his voice. “I knew it.” Then he sat up, straddling Shiro’s stomach. “Matt? Dad?”

               “I –“ Shiro closed his eyes. “Alive. The last I saw them.” It was the most he could offer. But when Pidge curled his head into his chest, it felt, for the first time in a while, like enough.

               The door opened, and Shiro crooked his head back to stare at Keith, who was in turn staring at Pidge and Shiro. Then he sighed, closing the door behind him. “I was nice enough not to tell anybody who you are, Pidge. Don’t jump his bones  _immediately_ and ruin all my hard work.”

               Shiro glanced up at Pidge with a growing smile, and burst into laughter as Pidge buried his head in his hands, turning a virulent shade of red. “Subtlety, Keith!  _Subtlety!_ We had this conversation!”

               “I didn’t hand him a condom. This is subtle.”

               “I’m going to  _kill_ you.”

 

\----

               From what Shiro could see, the conversation between Pidge and Allura outside was going well. Pidge hadn’t stammered  _too_ badly, nobody had started crying and Allura was – ooh, Allura was  _laughing._ That was good.

               “Whatcha watching?”

               Shiro shushed behind him, then turned to look. Lance was eating goo out of the bowl behind him with an owlishly curious look. That was a little gross, but well, Lance was seventeen. Luckily Pidge seemed to have skipped the whole “eating everything in sight” phase – that or he’d hit it late and Shiro had just missed the whole thing.

               Lance followed Shiro’s eyeline – then yelped. “Is Pidge-“

               ” _Quiet._ ”

               Lance lowered their voice. “Is Pidge asking out  _Allura?_ ”

               “Yes.” Shiro grabbed Lance’s t-shirt. “And let me make this clear.” He waggled his finger threateningly in Lance’s face. “You will  _not_ blow this for him.”

               “Yeah, yeah, alright, big guy.” Lance shoved another bowl of goo into their face. “God, at this rate, everybody on the Castle will be dating Allura  _except_ me.” They took position behind Shiro, peering over his shoulder.

               Hunk showed up a few minutes later. “Oh, what’s going on-“

               Lance shushed him. “Pidge is asking out Allura.”

               “Oh, finally? Aw man. I hope it goes well.” Hunk ended up crouching next to Shiro, stroking his chin.

               Lance swallowed their food. “I bet ten bucks Pidge chickens out.”

               “ _Lance._ That is my  _boyfriend._ ” Beat. “And my girlfriend.” Beat. “Polyamory is strange. But stop betting on them.”

               “I’ll take that bet,” said Hunk like Shiro hadn’t spoken.

               “Well, fine,” huffed Shiro. “I bet fifty bucks it goes wonderfully.”

               Lance and Hunk turned to look at him. “You’re biased,” they said in unison.

               “Why would I be biased?”

               “Cause three ways are hot,” Lance retorted bluntly.

               Shiro opened his mouth, then closed it again. Dammit. He hadn’t even  _thought_ of that. What kind of fool was he?

               And now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

               “What on earth are you three doing?”

               Keith. Of course. Shiro tried to come up with a suitable lie, but Hunk interrupted with, “We’re gambling on whether Pidge manages to get a girlfriend or not-“

               A shoe came hurtling through the air at them, only avoided by some elegant dodges by all four, and it was followed by a shriek from Pidge, “STOP SPECTATING!”

               Well, they could take a hint. Except for Lance, who cupped their hands to their mouth and yelled, “GO LOOSE, PIDGE!” – and promptly got the *other* shoe straight to the noggin.

 

\----

               Shiro didn’t realize how he felt about Allura until he saw her head silhouetted against the stars, face staring out into the emptiness with unseeing eyes, silver hair cascading down her back and reflecting the blue lights of the haunted Castle.

               “Allura. Allura!  _Wake up!_ ”

               “I’m going home,” she said dreamily, with a longing that made his chest ache. Home. Who didn’t want to go home?

               He’d lost home, years since. And so had she – he’d watched her mourn, watched the realization settling into her bones –

                _-where is the sweet scent of the juniberry flower-_

-and she tore herself away, and tried to change the path as it was written, then she was falling back and Shiro didn’t even think, he caught her with a jolt of his heart into his throat – and he was falling, too. Or perhaps he’d fallen forever ago and hadn’t realized it.

               Later, after the Castle had exhaled the last remnants of poisoned crystal and he’d made sure the other paladins all had their wounds bandaged and their tempers settled, he went to check on her. But he stopped at the doorway, not wanting to intrude. The broken shards of glass and metal were spread out around her, and she was sorting them to some pattern of her own design.

               “Hey.”

               He turned away from the doorway, readying the best smile he had for Pidge. “Hey.”

               Pidge scoffed. “You don’t need to give me that face.” His hand slid into Shiro’s. “How are you holding up?”

               Shiro wasn’t sure how to handle that. He’d thrown somebody into space. On impulse. And he – he still didn’t know if it’d been Sendak or Alfor speaking. Perhaps he’d never know. So he shrugged. It wasn’t a nod and a smile. It was his way of admitting to it, the most he could manage, even with Pidge.

               Pidge glanced into the room, his face falling. “…You should go talk to her.”

               “Me?”

               “I –“ He laughed a little, and Shiro noticed the frustrated tears hanging at the corner of his eyes. “Well, you know me. I’ve already let my mouth run away with me a couple too many times. I’d rather not be that much of a prick again.”

               “You were upset.”

               “Still. You’re better at this.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, and Shiro caught how they trembled. He stepped forward, catching Pidge’s wrist in his hand and pulling the smaller boy’s knuckles to his mouth, kissing the scrapes there.

               Pidge smiled, the faint tears still hanging to his eyelashes. “…I wouldn’t last three days if I tried to leave. And I feel like you’d be lost without me.” He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his eyes. “Anyway, go on.”

               Shiro paused. “Why are you insisting-?”

               “I saw how you looked at her. I’m –“ Pidge cleared his throat. “I mean, I never said we were exclusive. And man –  _man –_ I don’t know how long you’ve felt like that about her but I’m not gonna be the asshole who –“ He clung to his arm, hunching in on himself.

               Shiro grabbed Pidge’s shoulders. “Hey. Hey, no. You’re  _mine._ Got it?”

               Pidge’s face brightened, and he sniffled a little. “Uh, I think I got some dust in my face. Give me a sec.”

               Shiro tried not to smile as he pressed a kiss to the top of Pidge’s head, pulling him into his chest. Then came the cheeky response from somewhere in the realm of his pectorals –

               “You’re still gonna make out with her, though, right?”

               “She’s  _grieving._ ”

               “…And this is why  _you_ should go cuddle her and not me. You should probably just duct tape my mouth shut at all times.”

               “Don’t tempt me.”

               He buried his face in Pidge’s hair, breathed him in – then turned into the room where Allura sat, trying to put the pieces back together. He put his hand on her shoulder, let her flinch at her and look up at him, and when she closed her eyes to try and hide the tears, he knelt down and pulled her head into his chest.

               “I’m sorry,” he murmured, and even though it felt like nothing compared to all the things he wanted to say – that he  _understood,_ even in some small, ridiculous way, even understanding that he couldn’t understand – she leaned into his touch anyway.

\---

                When Pidge sidled up to him a few hours later in one of the various sitting rooms, face suffused with red and covered ear to ear with a splitting grin, Shiro knew he could probably collect on his debt.

               “So when’s the date?”

               “…Blep.”

               “Blep isn’t a word.”

               Pidge collapsed into Shiro’s lap with a happy murmur. “ _Blep._ ” He looked so self-satisfied that Shiro thought he might start sprouting wings.

               “Uh huh.” Shiro scratched behind Pidge’s ear with a chuckle. “I  _told_ you it’d go well.” He examined Pidge’s remarkably puffy lips. “ _Rather_ well.”

               “Sh-shush,” Pidge grumbled, blushing even darker red as Shiro’s thumb brushed over his lips. “A-apparently she’s been waiting for me to ask. And – um – well – you  _warned_ me Alteans are forward.”

               “I did.” Shiro swept Pidge into his arms and down onto the couch, leaning down for a kiss. He’d meant it just to be a peck, but he could  _taste_ Allura on his breath, and he hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted that, how much the concept excited him – he slid his tongue into Pidge’s mouth with a moan, hands wandering –

               “What am I walking in on?” came the amused query from the door and Shiro broke the kiss with an embarrassed flush.

               Pidge grinned like the imp he was. “Hi Allura! I think Shiro is ravishing me.”

               “I am  _not,_ ” Shiro protested weakly, then whatever else he’d been about to say was lost as Allura made her way over and trailed a finger over the back of his neck.

               “Your  _very_ handsome boyfriend and I were talking.” She leaned over his back with a smile. “You know I won’t break, right?”

               “Wh-what’s that supposed to mean?” Shiro could feel his  _own_ blush growing. He couldn’t help but shake the feeling that he’d had the tables turned on him.

               Pidge took Shiro’s face in his hands, kissing his nose. “She’s  _horny,_ ” he translated, eliciting a horrified squeak from the princess. “Sorry, Allura. He’s thick sometimes.”

               “I am  _n-_ “

               Allura kissed his neck, fingers pulling ever so gently at his hair. Shiro wondered if it was possible to just instantly melt.

               “Let us spoil you.” Pidge couldn’t have grinned harder if he tried. “You put too much pressure on yourself.”

               “But-“ Shiro wasn’t even sure what the  _but_ was for.

               Pidge took his hand and guided it to between Pidge’s legs – where there was  _something_ that pulsed at Shiro’s touch.

               “Oh,” mouthed Shiro.

               “Alteans have fun toys. Wanna try them ou-“

               ” _Yes._ ”

               “Are you two going to keep bantering,” Allura complained, hands running up the back of Shiro’s shirt, “or am I going to get laid?”

               “As you wish, princess,” Shiro replied – and then he was kneeling on the floor, Allura’s high heels on his shoulders, and all he could think was,  _thank you, Pidge Gunderson, for not chickening out._

Polyamory was  _fun._


End file.
